Wednesday, October 5, 2011

5 Months Today

If I had a dollar for every time Max smiled, I'd be a millionaire. He is the happiest baby ever.

Clare has been sick since Sunday, so we've just been hanging around the house. Thankfully Max did not pick up whatever Clare had. I was trying to hard to keep them apart, but he absolutely loves watching his big sister. This afternoon, we went outside to blow bubbles and Max was laughing as Clare chased and popped each bubble. He loves it when she makes faces at him and he loves it when she kisses him. Before he was born, I wondered how I could possibly have enough love for two beautiful children. I now realize that the love for Max is multiplied because of Clare. I pray that we will be able to have more children to share in the beautiful love of siblings.

We go back to Texas Children's November 7th. Hopefully we'll get a better idea of what comes next for our little but mighty Max. He will have a second surgery sometime between November and January. This surgery is called the Glenn and is a setup surgery for the Fontan. Max will only use the right side of his heart.

Although I am amazed at what they are able to do for him, as a mom, it's terrifying. Being home since July has given me the time to bond with him that I didn't have when he was first born. I know my son. I know what makes him laugh, what makes him cry, I know what he smells like, and how he snuggles under my chin. And this is why I'm so scared. I'm so in love with him that I'm afraid to lose him. These months have been glorious, and at times, I forget the reality that my son is faced with. I know that God has a plan for Max. I know that if anything happens he'll be an angel in Heaven and this should give me peace, but it doesn't. So I'm dreading November. I'm dreading what the doctors will tell me. I don't want this vacation to end...

1 comment:

  1. This post made me tear up. We love you guys and you are in our thoughts and prayers every night.